


10 - Panic

by Jillybeanjoy



Series: Venom [10]
Category: Venom (2018), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Anne and Dan Find Out, Christmas Lights, Fire, Hurt / Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, PTSD, Panic Attack, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, light up night, mental break down, surprise, venom gets outed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 13:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18895750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jillybeanjoy/pseuds/Jillybeanjoy
Summary: Eddie goes to Anne and Dan for light up night and has a panic attack. Venom reveals themselves to Anne and Dan.





	10 - Panic

Eddie stood in the park, occasionally looking at his phone just to keep his hands busy. **Calm down, Pussy.** Venom poked. **They aren’t even late.**

He pretended to take a call. “I know, I’m just not used to be the early one. And what did I say about that word? I’ll share my head with an alien but not a misogynist.”

**It came from your head.** Venom grumbled. **Do you want to be late? We can go grab a snack.** Venom offers a memory of several of the creatures that live in the park. A squirrel, a rabbit, a pigeon. **Something not dead for once.**

Eddie sighs and shakes his head, putting his phone back in his pocket. There’s a lot of people here, more than usual for this park. He starts to wonder what this surprise from Anne and Dan is. 

Wind blows on Eddies back, sending a chill of air down his back. Venom slowly appears, forming a black scarf around him, watching carefully that no one is looking. 

Eddie breathes into the Venom scarf, enjoying feeling his hot breath come back on his face. **That tickles.** Venom squirms inside his body. 

“Eddie!” They hear from behind then. Eddie turns around and Anne is waving from a hundred feet away, holding Dans arm. He waves back and waits for them to make their way to him. 

Once they are together Anne gives him a hug and Dan shakes his hand. “Where’s Chris?” She asked. 

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Working, his boss gave him a website that’s supposed to be a big deal to the company and he’s been obsessing over it.” He gave a what-can-you-do shrug. “So what’s the surprise?” He asked expectantly and he followed their lead walking further into the park. 

“You really haven’t worked it out yet?” Anne asked and gestures to the park around them. Dan gives a light chuckle, but not in a mean way. 

Eddie looked around them, trying to figure out what is so obvious to them but not him. The park looks exactly the same as normal, though it’s starting to get dark. To be honest he thought the park was a meeting place before the surprise, not part of it. 

Finally Anne giggles, “it’s light up night! I know how much you loved it in New York.” 

_Oh,_ things finally click. He looks into the trees and there are the tell tale trails of unlit strings of Christmas lights through all the trees close to the walk way. Is it December already? Eddie forced a laugh “well now I feel dumb,” 

They walk further into the park, making small talk when Eddie starts seeing burning bins occasionally from a distance. Eddies heart starts racing. **Breathe.** Venom reminds him, and he takes a deliberate inhale and exhale.

Eddie drops out of the conversation and focuses on appearing calm, but his hands start sweating and he keeps having to rub them on his jeans. _What the fuck is going on with me?_ He asks more to himself than Venom. 

**We don’t like this.** Venom agrees. **Why are there fires everywhere?**

Not thinking, Eddie almost opens his mouth to answer, but Venom clamps it shut. 

“Were you going to say something Eddie?” Dan asks, “sorry we didn’t mean to dominate the conversation.” 

It takes longer than it should have for Eddie to form words, “what? No. Fine.” Then realizing that was barely lucid, “when does it start?” He asked, eager to get this over with and out of here. 

Anne looks at her watch, “about ten more minutes, do you want to head to a bonfire and make s’mores?” 

Eddie almost stops moving, but jerkedly forces himself to continue forward. **Eddie?** Venoms concern mixes with Eddies strange worry. Anne and Dan both look at him, he can feel their eyes on him trying to understand him. 

He could say he has to piss. He could fake a phone call, say it’s an important lead or Chris and leave. He could not say a word and just go, ever since Venom he knows he’s faster than them. 

“Yeah that’s fine.” Eddie finds himself saying. 

“Eddie are you alright?” Anne asks. 

_Nope. Nope, nope, nope._ He was not alright, whatever this stress- this panic, this fear- whatever it was, it was getting worse. He had no idea where it was coming from. He nodded his head though and continued on with them, hoping it would just go away. 

**Eddie the chemicals is your body are very irregular.** Venom Interjects. he sounds strange. Breathier. Then they see it. One large bonfire in the dead center of the park, surrounded by many more burning bins. People are everywhere, making s’mores, children running, talking loudly. 

There’s a strange roar in his ears and everything sounds far away. He realizes he stopped walking. Anne and Dan stop as well and turn to see what’s going on. 

Someone bumps into him. 

Before Eddie can think, he pushes himself away from the contact. Pushing some college aged kid taking a walk with his girlfriend “Hey!” They sound miles away. 

He turns back around. Wait no, that’s not the direct he was facing. Or was it this way? He spins and is closer to a burning bin than he thought. The heat hits his face. 

Burning. Heat engulfs him. It’s so bright it hurts. 

No! He’s fine. _He’s fine._ He’s in the park with Anne and Dan and... “Venom. Where’s Venom?” He spins around. 

**Eddie, I’m here. Where’s the danger?**

His chest hurts, he can’t catch his breath. Someone grabs him and he unthinkingly takes a swing. He makes contact with Dans jaw. 

“Eddie! What the fuck are you doing?” He hears Anne yell but it sounds like his head is underwater. Maybe that’s why he can’t breathe. 

“Where is he? _Where is he?!”_ Eddie knows he’s being loud and making a scene but he can’t stop. He can’t stop. He can’t breathe. He can’t think. All he feels is the fire. Burning him away. Burning Venom away. 

**Where’s the danger Eddie? I can help.** He can feel the symbiote reach for control and Eddie panics and bolts into a sprint. 

Away. Away from the noise. The people. The heat. The fire. He keeps mumbling to himself as he runs “Where is he? Where _is_ he? _Where is he?”_ His yelling has practically turned into screaming. People around him snickering, whispering, trying to look away but failing. 

“Eddie!” He hears Dan behind him and whips around. Dan approaches his cautiously, careful not to get too close. 

Eddie can’t think, can’t form words. All he knows is wordless, enveloping panic. Dread. Fear. Burning pain. He feels so alone. “Where’s Venom?!” 

Venom tries to make himself heard over the loud thoughts and emotions Eddie... Where...? 

There’s a bright flash as someone takes a picture. No it’s the explosion. Eddie being ripped in two, Venom gone. Gone. _Gone. No!_

The black venom scarf erupts, covering his whole body as Venom masks him, reacting to Eddie. There are multiple screams. 

“Eddie?!” He hears Anne over all of it. 

Eddie and Venom look left and right, looking for something. They don’t even know what. They hardly register the faces of shock on Anne and Dan, looking up at them as people around them run. 

“Eddie look at me.” Dan says in a loud commanding voice. It catches their attention and they jerk their head toward him. Dans voice shakes ever so slightly as he says, a little less forcefully, “I need you to name 5 things you can see.”

**“You. Anne. Tastey Snacks running away.”** Were they trying to scare them? They don’t know.

Anne’s face is full of fear, worry and dread. 

“That’s three.” Dan pressed, his voice cracking a little. 

**“Trees. Fire.”** They lean in toward Dan, faces only two inches away. 

“Now four things you can tactile-ly feel.” 

They cock their head to the side. What was he doing? **“Heat from the fire. Should we cook our snacks first? We know you humans like your meat dead, but we prefer it... fresher.”**

Anne interjects. “That’s only one.” 

Faster than should be possible they are in front of Anne, faces u comfortably close, but she doesn’t blink. **“The chill of the wind. Eddies clothes pressing against us. Venom under Eddies skin and covering us.”**

“So you’re both there. Eddie, Venoms not gone. You’re both right here.” She reaches up to touch them and they hiss. 

Anne’s facade breaks slightly as she looks to Dan. Dan says “Three things you smell.” 

They smile wickedly **“Smoke. Burnt food.”** They take a big obvious sniff at her , temporarily closing their eyes **“Anne’s perfume.”**

Anne doesn’t blink. Dan somehow moved closer without them realizing, they shift their attention to him. “Two things you hear.” 

They pause to listen, closing their eyes once again **“People screaming.”** They look back at Anne **“Your breath catching.”** Then they look at Dan, curiously. 

Dans face goes white, but he forces the one last command out. “One thing you taste.” 

They can’t help but laugh, and wrap their impossibly long tongue all over Dans face. **“Mmmmm salty adrenaline”**

A hand touches them. They jerk to see Anne putting a hand on their shoulder. “Eddie. Stop this.” 

_Oh, God._ Eddie realizes, mentally separating himself from venom for a moment. They look around at the choas around them. _What have I done?_

They look at Dan and Anne watching them carefully. _God damn it what have I done?_ They take a step back, away from them. Lock eyes with Anne. Eddie breaks. 

Venom opens up around him, and Eddie literally falls out of the Venom suit before Venom retracts back under his skin. Dan and Anne both catch him. 

“What have I done? What have I done?” Broken sobs rip from his chest as Dan takes off his coat and wraps it around Eddies shoulders. Anne tries to get Eddie to stand, but he feels so weak. 

**Eddie...** venom is quiet, uncertain. **What just happened?**

He looks them both in the eye ready for disgust, hatred, maybe even contempt. All he sees in either of them is worry.

**They are afraid of us.**

Eddie looks around at the once crowded park now in chaos. _Maybe they should be._ Despite himself he repeats again “what have I done?” 

Dan puts Eddies arm around his neck to help him walk “Come on, we gotta get out of here. The police are probably going to be here soon.” 

—————

Eddie wakes up disoriented, his eyes swollen and puffy from crying. It takes him a minute to realize where he is. 

**Anne’s apartment.** Venom offered. 

“Venom.” He sighed in relief, unsure why he was so surprised to hear his symbiote in his head. “What happened?” 

“You had a panic attack, Eddie.” It wasn’t Venom who answered but Dan. Eddie jumped. he hadn’t realized they weren’t alone. Eddie sat up, he felt hung over. 

**They helped us.** Venom reminded him, gently nudging the memories to the forefront of their brain. 

“Holy shit,” Eddies eyes went wide and he realized exactly what happened. He masked in front of Anne and Dan. They knew. He look at Dan, who’s jaw was already starting to swell and bruise. “Dan, I’m so sorry.” 

Anne came out from the hallway, hearing their voices. “Sorry? Why didn’t you tell us Eddie?” She looked pissed. 

Eddie gaped, trying to form words. **We should have told them.**

“How long have you been off your medication, Eddie?” Dan asked, trying to grab Eddies attention. 

Eddie slowly looked away from Anne’s hurt and angry face. The same face he knew all too well. It was the face she made when he was run out of New York. The same face she made when she broke off their engagement. 

Instead he looked at Dan, “Ever since Venom came back. I wasnt sure how the two would mix...” 

He heard Anne scoff, and looked at her even though he knew it would hurt. “And when was that? When exactly did Venom come back?” 

Eddie looked into his hands, unable to look at either of them anymore. “He was waiting for me when I got back to my apartment.” 

He heard Anne let out a breath, but couldn’t look. _She hates us._ Eddie thought. Despair covering him. 

**We’ll win her back.** Venom assured. It took a minute for Eddie to realize Venom heard him. 

_Great, *now* it works._

**We’re getting closer everyday. Soon it will be as easy as breathing.**

Eddie didn’t have the time or energy to think about that right now. 

“Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Anne accused. 

Eddie was speechless, “I...” 

Dan interrupted “Venom, can _you_ hear me?” 

A black tendril creeped out from under Eddies shirt, forming a floating head. They hear the air leave the room. **“Of course.”**

It takes an eternity before either of them are able to process enough to form words. “Venom,” he repeats, and clears his throat. “Eddie is sick, he needs that medication.” 

Venoms eyes narrow **“Eddie is mine. I can fix it. I take care of Eddie.”**

Anne scoffs and everyone looks up, “like you did last night?” 

Venom glares at her **“we thought we were in danger.”**

Dan puts a hand tentatively on Eddies knee. Eddie and Venom both look at him, in sync. “That’s what PTSD does. It makes you think you’re in danger when you are not. Whats happening to Eddie is affecting you too.” 

**“Eddie doesn’t need medication. That’s what I’m here for. That’s my job.”** Venom growled. 

Eddie glared at Venom for the harsh reaction. “V they are just trying to help.”

“It’s to help both of you. We can figure something out to help you do that job.” 

Anne leaves the room. Eddie watches her go. “She hates us.” Eddie said out loud this time. 

“She’s hurt you lied to her again.” Dan told them. Eddie looked at him, searching. 

“We... I wasn’t sure how she would have reacted...” Eddie confessed. 

“Was this really better?” Dan asked. 

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry I swung at you.” 

“You wanna make it up to me?” Dan asked. “Take the medication. I can be there with you every step of the way to monitor you and Venom to make sure nothing bad happens.” 

“You aren’t a psychologist are you? I just realized I never asked what kind of doctor you are.” 

“No, I’m not.” He chuckled. “I’m a general surgeon. So I kind of have hands in everything. But if you want to see someone who specializes in psychology and tell them about why you’re nervous about taking the medication...” he nods his head toward Venom “I can recommend someone I trust.” 

**“No.”** Venom snapped, harsher than Eddie would have liked. 

“The less people who know, the better. Drake might be gone, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who if they found out about Venom wouldn’t cage us up and poke and prod us senseless.” Eddie elaborated. 

Dan nodded “that’s what I thought. And it’s also another reason you need to get this under control. It won’t be much of secret if Venom keeps coming out in public because you have a panic attack.” 

_He had a good point._

**I am more than capable of taking care of you. I was caught off guard this time. I can do better.** Venom pouted only in their shared mind. 

Eddie was shocked by how personally Venom was taking this. “V, this isn’t your fault.” 

**I protect you. You are mine.**

“No one is saying I’m not.” Eddie was getting whip lash. What did getting medicated have to do with whether or not he was his host? 

Dan stood up, “I’ll, uh, give you two a moment alone.” 

Once he left the room Eddie looked back at Venom, “What is going on?” 

**You don’t think I can protect you from this.** Venom accused. 

“There’s nothing wrong with needing help. We’re both in uncharted territory here.” 

**I help you. You help me. That’s what symbiosis is. We are bonded. We don’t need anything else.**

Eddie was really trying to understand, but felt like he was grasping at straws. “Even though we are bonded you still need to eat your special diet right?” Eddie said, thinking of all the heads they have bitten off despite Eddie’s distaste for it. “Think of this as my own special diet.” 

He could feel Venoms displeasure. 

“V tell me what’s really going on... you’re acting like...” Eddie stopped. He knew it was a bad analogy but he couldn’t think of another way to describe it. But, embarrassed he tried to think it to Venom instead of saying it out loud. _V are you feeling emasculated right now? Like instead of being afraid that you aren’t enough of a man for me, you’re afraid you aren’t enough of a symbiote?_

**I’m not a parasite.**

Again, Venoms response made Eddies head spin. “I didn’t say you were.” 

**Parasites only take. I am symbiote. I am your symbiote. And you are mine. You belong to me. I make us better. I heal us, I take care of us. I can take care of this.**

“You still make us better even if I have to take this medication.” 

Venom looked at Eddie accusingly. **But why do you take the medication? You were not on medication before we met. You did not have these terrors and panics before.**

Finally, it clicked. Eddie didn’t even think about it, he wrapped his arms around Venom and squeezed tightly. Sending Venom every memory of a comforting hug that he could think of. Venom froze, shocked for a moment, before watching the memories carefully. The tendril holding up Venoms head filled out to a torso and arms and Venom hugged Eddie back. 

_V, I have these symptoms because I lost you, not because we found each other._ He tried with everything in him to open his mind as much as possible to Venom so that he could see the truth in it. 

**I’m here now.** He had never heard the symbiote so quiet. So insecure and unsure. 

Eddie pulled away so that he could look Venom in the eyes. “And it’s going to stay that way. We’ll never be separated again. You take care of us in so many ways. Let me take care of us in this one way.” 

**You take care of us in lots of ways.** Venom reabsorbed himself into Eddie. **But we can try.** He consented. 

Eddie stood up, and walked to the hallway that Anne and Dan both disappeared to. Dan was just leaving Anne’s bedroom and closing the door behind him when he saw Eddie. “So?” He asked. 

“When do we start?”


End file.
